Ex Teens speak about their journey...
Have you changed a lot since you were a teenager? How?
Jenni Parker: Yes I have changed. I have matured. Varsity was a wake up call and I learned that there is life beyond school, home and church, I suddenly had to deal with people around me who saw things differently, behaved differently and talked differently.
Marc Le Roux: Many of my interests were formed while I was a teenager so in that respect it was a formative time that has influenced who I am today. I have grown though and I’ve learnt to see past myself and my own needs
Catherine Jones: I have grown up so much! I used to think that I was so grown up when I was a teen and now when I Iook back and see how much I have matured I think that is so funny! When you are a teen you are influenced by so many things around you and you define yourself by those things, but it is only a few years later that you start to really learn who you are and what you like.
What did you want most from your parents as a teen?
J: I really needed them to just listen to me! I needed them to let me know that they were listening.
M: My greatest need was for them to understand me and where I was at and give me the space and means to express myself.
C: I just needed to be able to tell my side of things, explain how I was feeling without them closing the topic. I needed them to constantly reaffirm me and tell me that they love me and are proud of me no matter what. I wanted them to take an interest in my life - the things I was involved in, things I enjoyed.
 Did your parents embarrass you?
J: Yes they did, Mom often used to rock up at school to fetch me in her clown outfit, and as for their dance moves…  It does get better, or maybe you just get used to dealing with it by either laughing along or ignoring them
 M:  I once came home from the hairdresser with an undercut. My Dad sent me back to the hairdresser to get it cut out. I got over it pretty quickly but it was about that time that I stopped brushing my hair J C: I used to hate it when my parents kissed each other in public or held hands!
 What troubles / worries did you have as a teen? M: In Standard 7 (grade 9) I realized how much influence I had on other teenagers around me and, in turn, how much influence they had on me. The scary thing was that it took much more effort to be a positive influence than a negative influence. It was difficult for me not to feel rejected when my friends rejected my faith.
J: I struggled incredibly with bad acne, which had an effect on my self- esteem, which I wasn't completely aware of until I started to treat it and it got better. I also struggled with friendships at school, I wasn't into partying and doing all the things teenagers like to do and often felt like I didn't have any friends, or at least some deep friendships. The girls at school weren't Christians and that made it hard, and I often felt they didn't understand me.
C: I had a low self esteem. I hated the way I looked and I dud not feel that anybody understood me. I had trouble finding real friends. It felt like the ones I had were always backstabbing me.
Was peer pressure a big thing?
 C: It was and I often gave in! I really wanted people to like me and to fit in. What I realize now is that those friends that pressure you are never your real friends, and as soon as the tough times come they are nowhere to be found! It starts with being pressured into doing things that seem small and then before you know it you are so used to doing them that it doesn’t seem like a big deal (like being pressured into having a boyfriend because everyone has one). It then becomes easier to do other bigger things (like drinking and smoking).
 J: Yes. I agree with the way my parents brought me up although it was difficult at the time and I didn't always agree. I look back now and know I would not be who I am if it wasn't for the wise words, with the punishment to reinforce them. There were times when I was very selfish and cheeky and deserved all I got.
M: Peer pressure wasn’t an obvious thing but when I noticed how it worked I saw it all the time. I was once called into the headmaster’s office and he advised me to try using positive peer pressure. This was good advice because it encouraged me to be secure in God. It also started having a positive influence on those who chose to hang out with me.
J: Yes, I have been a Christian since I was 9 and it definitely helped, Jesus is always there for you and He is the one that understands you the best. I think teens are all exposed to the same things, some more than others, and being a Christian doesn't exclude you from having hard times. In some ways being a Christian makes it harder because non-Christians don't always know what is right and what is wrong. Society has perverted and twisted things so much that the boundaries have become blurred, whereas a Christian more often than not knows what is acceptable or not and also has the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
C: I was not really serving God in my teen years. I was leading a double life – going to church but living my own life every other day. I never had my own revelation of who God was and it was clear that I could not live off my parents’ revelation. But my parents were such prayer warriors! I know that I would have ended up going far off the rails if it were not for their prayers and God’s hand over my life. There was nothing that my parents could say to change my heart, but God started working in my heart. I am really thankful that no matter what I got up to my parents kept reminding me that God had a plan for my life. The way they treated me showed me how God was - that He was the God of second chances, a God of unconditional love, a friend who never gives up on you. I am absolutely in love with God – my parents can see the fruit of their prayer and all that they sowed into my life.
M: Discipline is very important but my parents also gave my brothers and me a lot of space. They never forced us to study or had very strict curfews. We respected their rules because we understood the value of them from a young age.
Any advice for teens today
 C: There are lots of wonderful and exciting things that happen in your teen years! With each experience that comes your way remember that each decision you make will not just have an impact on you at that moment or when you are an adult but will have an impact in eternity! There are people who sell fake goods on the side of the road – fake Gucci sunglasses, fake Diesel Jeans … perhaps some of us buy these items even though we know they are fake. Well it’s the same in life - we settle for Fong Kong when God wants to give us the REAL thing. Don’t settle for something that looks like it could be friendship but is not, or something that looks like love but is not, or something that looks like happiness etc. God wants to give you the real thing, don’t settle for anything less!
 J: Learn from your parents, they have been around longer than you and have been through lots to get where they are now. Ask their perspective on things, they can often provide a different way of looking at a situation. Parents love it when you are proactive about doing things rather than being asked, so pack the dishwasher, offer to pack the groceries away etc. They have your best interests at heart and are not out to get you. Build your relationship with Jesus above all else, He is the one that is always there for you, understands you and is always with you. He never changes and will always be there.
M: Build deep and meaningful friendships with other Christians (young and old) and with God.
