My mom’s brother brought Sant Mat into her home when she was 16. The whole family converted from Christianity to Sant Mat. My dad’s dad became a satsangi when my dad was young and my dad and his 3 brothers followed suit. My dad’s parents eventually divorced because my gran, as a Christian could not accept Sant Mat.

My folks met at Sat Sang ( a church for Sant Mat followers), got married and had me, my brother and last of all my sister! We were all raised into the life philosophy of Sant mat. So you may be asking what is this thing? At the core of the Sant Mat philosophy is a belief that there is a spiritual purpose to human life – to experience the divinity of god who resides in all of us. It is through this experience that we will realize the truth of the concept that there is only one god and we are all expressions of his love.

Central to Sant Mat is a spiritual teacher who explains the purpose of life and guides and instructs members in a method of spirituality based on a daily meditation practice. The present teacher is Baba gurinder Singh, who lives with his family at the main centre in northern India. By performing the meditation practice according to the teacher’s instructions, individuals can realize the presence of god within themselves. It is a solitary practice that is done in the quiet of one’s own home. Members commit themselves to a way of life that supports spiritual growth while carrying out their responsibilities to family, friends and society.

To build on the primary spiritual practice of meditation, members are vegetarian, abstain from alcohol and recreational drugs, and are expected to lead a life of high moral values. A vegetarian diet encourages respect and empathy for all life and acknowledges that there is a debt to be paid for taking any life unnecessarily. Abstaining from intoxicants improves ones ability to concentrate and calms the mind during meditation. Members are encouraged to be self-supporting and not be a burden on society. They are free to make their own choices in life and maintain any cultural or religious affiliations they choose. Sant Mat does not involve itself in the personal lives of its members.

Another part of the belief system is that of karma and reincarnation. The master mentioned earlier clears his initiates from certain kinds of karma. You can only be initiated into Sant Mat at age 26 and only once you have fulfilled certain criteria. At initiation the master gives you the divine words to chant during mediation and teaches you the correct meditation technique to follow in order to be able to become god realised (become one with god who is in everyone centered in your third eye between your eyebrows).

Both my folks are initiates as well as most of my uncles and all my remaining grandparents. Growing up being exposed to so many different cultures and religions at Sat Sang was both a blessing and a curse. I can see now how it has encouraged a keen interest in learning about and being tolerant to other cultures. I love to travel and be in the center of cultural activities when I travel. However its down side in a sense was that I experimented with loads of mystical and demonic things growing up.

I attended many different meditation and visualization events. I went to mystical fairs where I had reiki done, spiritual colour therapy sessions, had scientology sessions. I went for intense self analysis sessions with a swami in order to help with my enlightenment. I learnt how to douse (pendulum swinging). I went for tarot card readings and evolutionary astrology sessions. I also did Brandon Bays journey and Louise Hays workshops (both very similar to the Secret in certain aspects). I was extremely proud of my enlightened status. Being born into Sant mat and being vegetarian from birth was a huge privilege and meant that I was an old soul who was close to god realization and not having to be reincarnated again (so you can imagine my parent’s dismay when I took 10 leaps backward into Christianity!). I was totally convinced of my beliefs and very stubborn in believing them.

The master I followed (being god on earth to us) meant that he was all wise. He taught us what the Bible really meant. I could prove reincarnation from it according to Matthew 16:13-16. The practice of becoming one with god through meditating on him and opening the third eye could be justified from Luke 11:33-36 (the eye is in singular meaning the third eye, and when it is opened and you become one with god you are fully enlightened and become light). Vegetarianism was justified in Genesis where it speaks of the herbs and plants being for food and also in a misinterpretation of the fish and bread feeding 5000 people. In those days the Hebrews ate something called fish bread which was bread shaped in the form of a fish. These are just a few examples of the inaccurate representation of the Bible according to the master.

I have had several encounters with demons. Growing up I often had a presence in my room at night. I had a wooden floor in my bedroom and would hear my door and the floor creaking as someone advanced toward my bed and just stood there. I could never see it, but just felt and heard it. When I was saved I had a few demonic attacks. The one was a large dog that would jump onto the foot of my bed and start advancing toward my face. I could only hear it panting and feel its paws walking over me. In those times I learnt about the absolutely amazing power and protection in the Name of my Saviour Jesus Christ. All I had to do was manage to whisper His Name in my state of terror and it would be gone!

So how was I eventually converted? I had many friends who tried getting me to church and speaking about Jesus to me. Mostly I shot them down. Then one day I started dating a Christian and went to church with him (just because I wanted to be with him). He prayed for my salvation daily without fail for two years before one evening, in 1997, I gave my heart to Jesus at an altar call. I can’t even remember much of what was preached that night, but as the altar call was made my heart was pounding like its never pounded before. I remained seated because I didn’t want to become a Christian! Then after a while the pastor said that there was someone who still had to come up, and that person would know who they were because God is knocking at the door of their heart and they can feel the knocking. I knew it was me because my heart started pounding even harder. Once I made the decision I felt different in a way, but by no means had I given up on a lot of my previous beliefs. I was only excited about the person of Jesus. I gave up Sat Sang but became even more proud because I was a more enlightened Christian who had all the answers to difficult questions because I knew about things like karma and reincarnation. My boyfriend at the time kept telling me the Holy Spirit would reveal the Truth to me, and I kept telling him that the Holy Spirit would enlighten him to the truth! Needless to say Holy Spirit did an amazing job of completely convicting me of the Truth in 2002 through a series of events.

It started one night when I realized that all my Christian friends had amazingly intimate relationships with Jesus. They always had revelations while reading the Bible. They also always had encouraging words for others that were incredibly meaningful and personal. I had none of this, I felt empty and did not get much out of reading the Bible, it was just a bunch of words to me. So that evening, in total despair, I cried out to God asking Him to show Himself to me. And no kidding - the very next day, people I had only met once in Pietersburg, popped over to my house (my boyfriend had given them my address) and invited me to their church (I had not attended Church for about 2 years because I was having fun leading a sinful life). I went with them and was blown away.

God sparked something in my heart that night. Another big step was that I finally got a conviction that hell existed. For about a year I became so engrossed with Jesus that I became a hermit, all I wanted to do was read the Bible and pray all day. Even when exam time came that year I barely studied and just said to God that if I am seeking His Kingdom first He must surely let me pass (which I did!). I got a conviction about baptism and filling of the Holy Spirit and got baptized. I also started attending a weekly Bible School that the church offered. It was soon after my baptism that I started reading a book called “Raising the standard” that finally put my theory of karma and reincarnation to rest completely.

I wept for many hours asking God for forgiveness and repented by having a two and half hour bonfire session. I tore up and burnt every new age book, every picture of the master, my pendulum, every single piece of jewelery that was and/or may have been connected with anything “weird”. I have also had revelations that eating meat is not a sinful thing and that Jesus was not vegetarian. I have seen how the Bible has been able to stand up to every criticism about its accuracy, and that it is a true reflection and interpretation of God’s unfailing and true Word to us on Earth, His people who He loves so dearly.

God has been very gracious to me. He has provided me with an awesome husband who loves God, so I am learning a lot from him about walking a committed and faithful life to Jesus. God also led me to my real family here at Urban Life where I continue to work out my salvation daily. (There are many mindsets and habits that I continually have to battle).

Looking over my Christian walk since 1997 I would say that it is absolutely essential to get involved in a life group and also to be willingly accountable with leadership in the Church. It is difficult and challenging at times, but the benefits and the growth spiritually as a person far outweigh the awkwardness of opening your life up to faithful stewards of God. If you are in a place in your life, or at a church where you are not closely knit in, then I strongly urge you to get involved. It’s important that you find a church that you can make your family.

If you are not a church goer and are looking into Christianity with any kind of filters that I used to look in with - be brave enough to take the leap of faith. You won’t necessarily have as many answers as you did before, and you may feel a loss of power in the sense of not being part of something so exclusive and so self gratifying (in the way of feeling pure and holy by achieving the task of following many rules and regulations of purity and rituals of meditation and such anymore). But you will experience an amazing amount of freedom and grace (once you finally start understanding the grace of God!) that nothing can surpass. You will also experience intimacy with God like no meditation has ever offered you.