I love playing drums and a few years back I felt God call me to join the worship team, so I did! But I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so learning songs for the weekend wasn’t a simple task, it became a competition for me. I would learn every beat & drum fill exactly how it was recorded in all the songs. Then I discovered that our worship leader loves doing spontaneous mash-ups!
Wow – did I get angry? “How can you play stuff that you didn’t tell us to learn!”
Anyway, after a few weeks of playing (frustrated…and badly – coz of the “mash-ups”) a significant moment happened – we had a ‘response moment’. The occasion was solemn, people were quiet with anticipation, the band was called upon to play.
The band made their way up to the stage, with reverence and awe – God was at work in the place!
I get the cue to start the song, I look at them with my eyes a little squinted – and nod my head…
I completely fail!
I’m out of rhythm, I forgot all my drum fills, I’m playing a drum beat that sounds like it came out of jungle book!
I accidentally stop the backtrack as well, oops!
The band is looking at me like “What are you doing??” but I can’t stop now, so I push through and barely make it to the end.
Then the meeting ended.
So – embarrassed, I immediately stand up to go and sit down to hide, but as I sneaked a look at the congregation there were hands raised to God everywhere!
About 8-10 salvations!
Half stunned, I thought to myself “But I messed up?” and in that moment God whispered into my heart saying:
“It’s not by your works but by my Grace”
I started weeping because I realized I’d made the focus about me again and not God.
God is the focus.
I had to repent in that moment and ask God to realign my heart with His (and now I was crying in front of the church as well. So humiliating but such a massive moment for me.)
“True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life.” Prov 22:4
That humility brought a repentance and then a revival in my heart!
Humility isn’t condemning, it’s freeing. Humility brings honor and life.
It’s ok if you don’t have it all figured out, it’s ok if you messed-up.
God loves us unconditionally and in 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”
I pray that we will be courageous and seek humility. To lay down our pride, mistakes and struggles before your feet Jesus! Father, if more of you means less of me, then take everything.